How can Mediation help me to resolve issues relating to Children and Finances?

Very few of us appreciate being told what to do by someone who has no real knowledge of the specific issues that we are facing.

It is also true that no two families are ever the same.  Although families may look the same from the outside, each family has its own unique history, family dynamics and their approach to disputes and problems.

It is also a fact that an item of clothing described as “one size fits all” very rarely fits anyone well.

For all the above reasons Family Mediation is an effective and efficient way of resolving disputes following separation.

When partners separate it is easy to become entrenched in antagonistic discussions and disagreements which go nowhere.  Inevitably this leads to increased tensions within the family and more emotional harm.

Whilst “having my day in court” may seem an attractive option, the end result is that the Court will indeed use a “one size fits all” approach and often appears to take the approach that it is best that both parties leave feeling they lost something.   Recovery from the lengthy Court process, exposing each other’s faults takes time.

Family Mediation offers a way of avoiding these pitfalls.  One of the main strengths of Mediation is that it is a choice made by the parties to work together to resolve the issues surrounding the breakdown of the relationship.  It is not always an easy option, but it is one that ensures that the decisions are made by the people who have to live with the consequences.

Working with a Mediator, the issue of how your children will share their time between you can be discussed and possible options explored.  If the child is old enough then Mediators who are trained to work with young people can talk to them and gain their feelings on what should happen, which can help shape the way forward.

When looking at financial issues there can be an exchange of information and discussions about the money issues which takes account of feelings as well as facts, something the Court will not do.

The Mediator helps couples to deal with the discussions in a calm and reasonable way.  The results can then be discussed with your Family Lawyer and the agreement which has been reached can be turned into a legally binding Order.

• Avoiding a day (or more) in court is a substantial cost saving.
• Avoiding prolonged aggressive arguments is a substantial emotional saving.

Finally, it is not always possible to emulate Adele, but by using family mediation you can do so.  See link here: Adele finalises divorce with joint custody of son – BBC News

Amanda Page – Senior Solicitor

18/05/2022