Domestic Violence is not exclusive to Adults

The tragic death of Holly Newton aged 15 at the hands of her 16 year old ex boyfriend has highlighted the fact that domestic violence is not exclusive to adults.

Reading the reports of her parents campaign to have the law changed so that Domestic Violence is recognised as a crime when the victim is under 16 took me back 37 years to the time when I was a relatively recently qualified solicitor working in leafy Henley on Thames.

The woman sat in front of me explained that the previous Sunday, whilst sitting by her swimming pool (!) she had become cross that her daughter, aged 14, was insisting on wearing a cardigan over her bikini.  This had been a pattern through a relatively warm summer.  However, as the daughter (let us call her Jill) moved, the cardigan fell open and revealed a bruise on Jill’s side.

When the cardigan came off it could be seen that Jill’s upper arms and torso were covered in bruises in various stages of recovery.  Some were clearly handprints.  Jill reluctantly admitted that this was the work of her 15 year old boyfriend Jack.

Sat in front of me with her mother, Jill explained how much Jack loved her; how it was her fault; that she had provoked him and how sorry he always was afterwards

Any victim of Domestic Violence, or anyone who has worked with victims, will recognise those statements and the “gaslighting” that underlines them.  Jill’s mother found it incomprehensible.

Jill’s case, all those years ago did not, fortunately end in tragedy.  We obtained the protection of a non molestation order for her; and it became a criminal matter when Jack broke into the family home armed with a crowbar.

Domestic violence can happen anywhere and at any age.  37 years ago even physical violence was not viewed as seriously as it is now, and it was not a separate criminal offence.

Research completed by the charity Safelives worryingly showed that 49% of boys and 33% of girls thought hitting a partner would be ‘okay’ in at least one of twelve scenarios they were presented with. Usually if the other partner had “cheated”.

As adults and as a Society we need to make clear that it is never appropriate to hurt your partner and that there are consequences if you do.

It must also be made plain that if your partner does hit you then you should tell someone. A friend, a family member, the Samaritans.  Whether you are 14 or 44 you need support in ending the relationship and ensuring you are safe.

There is no age limit when it comes to applying for a Non Molestation Order. Help and Support is available.

Here at Andrew Isaacs Law, we are able to offer a supportive empathetic and professional approach to guide you through the legal framework.

Article Dated: 08/11/2024