Child Arrangements at Christmas – are you prepared?

Trick or treat has happened, and fireworks have lit up the sky.  Inevitably this means that Christmas is drawing near.  It also means that it is already late to be discussing how your child or children will share their time between you and their other parent over the festive season.

If you already have a court order then the question should have been covered in that, so get it on screen (or find the old fashioned paper copy) and read it carefully.  It is amazing how many times it transpires that memory has let us down when it comes to such details.

If the order is over four years old, do consider for a moment if it still suits your child’s needs.  What worked for your two-year-old is unlikely to work as well when the toddler is a teenager.  Whilst established Christmas arrangements can be reassuringly familiar, a noon handover may not suit the young person who prefers to sleep until that time.

Whether there is no order, or the order needs revisiting, the first matter to think about is what is and has been important to your child and family in the past. Different families have different traditions and ways of celebrating, indeed, may even celebrate on different dates depending on their family origins (24^th December in Denmark: 7^th January in Ethiopia).

There is also the question of what matters most to you.  The magic of Christmas Eve; the starry eyed but early morning start on Christmas day; Church Service or even a Boxing Day shopping extravaganza. When children are small the Christmas Eve preparations and the magic of discovering that Santa has visited when waking in the morning is seen as being most precious and should the matter go to Court, it is likely that there will be a system of alternating years with a Christmas day handover if that is feasible.  If that part is not important to you then conceding this permanently may allow you to achieve time that you value more

Always remember that this is an issue that needs to be resolved by parents acting as adults and it is not fair to involve your child.  Also that if you are making a proposal then you need to consider how that will feel if the arrangement is reversed.

If no agreement can be reached either through direct negotiation or through family mediation (www.nfm.org.uk) then you will need to make an application to the Court for a Child Arrangement Order dealing specifically with the Christmas arrangements.  Be aware that the Court will make it clear that it is rarely satisfactory for strangers to make such decisions on your behalf.  You also need to take into account that there is limited Court time available and that the application process takes a number of weeks, and it is already late to be starting an application if you wish it to be heard in time for Christmas.  It is unlikely that the Court will have much sympathy for an “urgent” application given that Christmas falls at the same time each year!

All the above applies not only to Christmas but also to Diwali; Eid; Hanukkah; Easter; Solstice or whatever other event is significant for your family.

If you need advice on this then we here at Andrew Isaacs Law are able to offer a supportive empathetic and professional approach.

Article dated 01.11.2024